Help is always at hand to deal with domestic abuse writes Alex Beavis, of Ringrose Law

It is currently the 16 days of action against domestic abuse. — Writes Alex Beavis, of Ringrose Law.

Anybody can experience abuse, at any time and in many ways. Because there are so many different forms of abuse, it can take a long time to realise what you are experiencing. There is always help available ­— there is always something we can do.

Coercive control ­— a pattern of acts or a singular act to control the actions of a person, through threats, humiliation, intimidation or other methods

Psychological or emotional abuse­— a method of control using emotions to criticise, embarrass, blame or manipulate

Physical abuse ­— any injury used to control the actions of a person or performed in anger

Sexual abuse — forced sexual acts with/upon a person

Financial or economic abuse — a method of control to restrict or manipulate the financial status of a person

Online/digital abuse — any use of technology to bully, harass, stalk or intimidate a person

Coercive control:

This is often described as the most subtle form of abuse because it involves an abuser using a pattern of behaviour over a long period of time. These might have always been part of the relationship or slowly increased over time, which makes them hard to recognise.

If you feel isolated from friends or family, have to ask permission to attend events/do fun activities or simply feel too scared to do or ask anything, you may be in an abusive relationship.

Psychological (emotional) abuse:

This involves the regular and intentional use of upsetting words that are supposed to make a person feel upset, either through pain, shame, embarrassment or confusion (to name a few).

It can often be the case that a relationship can start ok, with offensive words slowly creeping in, before they became part of the day to day relationship.

Physical abuse:

This is the most well-known, ‘traditional’ type of abuse. If you never experience physical abuse, this does not mean you are not a victim of domestic abuse.

Physical abuse can escalate over time and the abuser may use the excuse they were joking or even place the person for the abuse.

It is never your fault and there is always help available.

Sexual abuse:

This does not have to be a physical sexual encounter and can be solely imagery or words. Any act of a sexual nature which takes place without full and informed consent is sexual abuse.

It is common for sexual abuse to occur alongside other forms of abuse but it can be isolated events.

No matter what the abuser tells you, consent must be achieved from you and you can change your mind at any time.

Financial abuse:

This is usually used as a method to keep somebody dependent upon an abuser for money or other economic needs.

If you are struggling to afford basic essentials or cannot access your own bank account, you may be experiencing financial abuse. Equally, if you are pressured to give up work or education or make specific purchases, this could be another sign of financial abuse.

Online (digital) abuse:

This can take many forms and is becoming ever more common with the rise in the use of social media. Unfortunately, the age of a victim has reduced drastically with the increase in online abuse.

Online abuse can cover other forms of abuse but differs in that it is performed all online (or digitally via email, text etc). An abuser may exclude somebody from a social situation, post explicit images (or threaten to) or control the actions of what a person posts.

The first steps towards taking control of your life is to reflect on your abuser’s behaviour and understand you can break free and seek help.

If you need help call our 24/7 domestic abuse helpline on 07739 748 675 or email wecanhelp@ringroselaw.co.uk